What would you say if I told you that God designed us for sex?
In fact, God made sex pleasurable for a reason. Proof of this extends to the fact that He created us biologically to enjoy and even crave sex.
Let’s take a look at how our brains are designed. Our brain is wired in such a way that it wants to remember where our natural drives are satisfied. Our brain is designed to keep us alive and to also sustain humanity. If the body is thirsty, the brain’s job is to remember in vivid detail where water can be found; this is accomplished in the reward center or the pleasure center of the brain.
There are several chemicals in the brain that accomplish learning, memory, pleasure, and relational bonding. Here are a few of them:
- Dopamine
- Norepinephrine
- Oxytocin
- Vasopressin
- Serotonin
- Natural endorphins
- Natural opiates
Let’s take a brief look at each one:
- Dopamine: A neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward and pleasure centers. Dopamine also helps regulate movement and emotional responses, and it enables us not only to see rewards but to take action to move toward them.
Dopamine creates a neural pathway that links bodily need, an emotional need, or physical need to a source of satisfaction. Dopamine is the “want” mechanism in our desire. - Norepinephrine: This naturally occurring chemical is responsible for alertness and focus; it is in effect the brain’s version of adrenaline.
Norepinephrine plays a key role during a normal sexual experience, especially with sexual arousal, and is part of the pleasure experience. - Oxytocin and Vasopressin: These two chemicals act to establish and bind our long-term memories; they bind us to another person in intimacy. In neurological professional circles, oxytocin is also nicknamed the “cuddle hormone.”
- Endorphins and Natural Opiates: These chemicals create a “super high” or wave of pleasure at orgasm. This is the ecstasy or euphoric experience component, accounting for the “loss of self” sensation or the “two joined as one” experience. The body produces natural forms of opium, which creates this natural high.
- Serotonin: After orgasm, massive amounts of serotonin are released, creating a state of extreme calm and relaxation. Additional bonding is established at this point.
Again, God created us as sexual beings, with the desire to join with another person and expand God’s plan. We are “hardwired” for communion, intimate connection, and union with God. This desire for bonding and emotional connection is an innate craving in our human design.
Two Joined as One
Our brains have mechanisms by which boundaries between self and other objects are observed. During sexual intercourse, especially at climax, the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems are simultaneously overloaded. The mind is overwhelmed by these two systems. The prefrontal cortex is also forced to operate at maximum capacity. Then the posterior superior parietal lobe is deprived of sensory input. This all results in the boundary mechanisms beginning to fail and the sensory perception of “self” and “other” begins to blur, resulting in the “two as one” sensation—essentially a “transcendence of self.”
This whole system that God designed creates a “bond” to your spouse. The repeated sexual experience with the same person (spouse) locks in the pleasure memory, along with the subsequent deep calm and peace sensation.
The science behind our sexual interaction reveals God’s design of “the two shall become one.” The misuse of the marital bond designed by God is revealed in scripture, as well.
1 Corinthians 6:16 “Do you not know that whoever is united to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For it is said, ‘The two shall be one flesh.’”
For anyone who has engaged sexually with multiple partners, not necessiarally prostitutes, you should know that your soul is united with this person or persons. This is called a “Soul Tie”. It is very important that these soul ties be severed to be fully bonded with your spouse. There are special prayers that can do this (see Road to Purity store for these prayers)
Components of Sexual Behavior
There is a natural chemical and neurological design is then woven into our process of sexual attraction and sexual behavior.
Let’s look at the components of sexual behavior. There are three basic components to sexual behavior:
- Attraction
- Attachment
- Romanticism
Attraction Phase
Attraction triggers these hormones and parts of the brain:
- testosterone
- caudate nucleus
- ventral tagmental area (VTA)
Testosterone: a hormone that drives the sexual desires and performance.
Caudate nucleus: an area of the brain responsible for learning, memory, and social behavior.
Ventral tagmental area (VTA): an area that controls the dopamine system and reward center of the brain. The VTA is responsible for cognition and motivation. It is also responsible for intense emotions relating to fear, love, shame, ecstasy, and so on.
Note: The VTA is also stimulated in drug addiction.
Also note that in men, when an attractive woman is observed, this entire attraction phase sequence happens in less than one second. We’re wired this way—by God
Attachment Phase
After the attraction event, the attachment phase begins.
In this phase, the brain releases oxytocin, vasopressin, more dopamine, and nucleus accumbens, chemicals that reinforce rewards.
Nucleus accumbens also play a critical role in addictions. In this process, the brain releases “ΔFosB” (pronounced delta fos b). This is a chemical that creates a neural pathway to permanently record the pleasure event. (Note: This is the main factor in developing ALL addictions.)
Romanticism Phase
The third phase is romanticism or romantic love.
Here we see the motivation system stimulated and then finally spiritual harmony occurs. This phase seals the whole process both spiritually and biologically.
These types of love are based on the attachment and bonding phase in the biological process. This particular phase is probably the most critical to our human existence and self-worth systems. When a person consumes pornography, the romanticism phase is absent. This absence is devastating on our lives, as we see in porn and sex addiction.
This is a very brief overview of how humans are wired sexually, with God’s plan woven in. For more detail refer to these books:
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