Why call them secrets?
Because, unfortunately, a lot of people do NOT know about them. Nor do they know the risks of porn. Today, let us unmask these secrets so that you and your loved ones know how to fight and overcome addiction.
If you are struggling with frequent sins of the flesh, you are not alone. Jesus has conquered sin, and he wants to conquer it in you. The Sacrament of Penance and the Eucharist are always the privileged channels of grace and healing. These 5 Keys to Freedom, however, can help you to better dispose yourself to receive them, and to more quickly obtain the purity that is your destiny as a child of God.
1. You Must… Desire Change
You won’t change your behavior until you really want to change. You must want to stop more than you want to breathe. Stop the denial and be honest with yourself. At some level, you don’t want to change.
Your sins bring pleasure, escape, relief, control or some other apparent benefit. Sexual sin has become your medication for a deeper pain within–a medication you fear you can’t live without.
At the same time, you wouldn’t be reading this if you did not at least desire to desire to change. God can work with that. Keeping praying for a greater desire to desire to change.
2. You Must… Change Your Habits
If you really want to change, you must get rid of the sources of temptation and the near occasions of sin. Here are 4 actions you can take RIGHT NOW:
- Install blocking software, such as Covenant Eyes (covenanteyes.com) on ALL of your connected devices.
- Enable the ratings blocking feature of your TVs and media players. Have someone else set the password so you can’t change the settings.
- Never go online at home when you are alone or when everyone has gone to bed. You may tell yourself that you just need to check email, but this often leads quickly to checking social media, browsing, and a fall.
- Refuse to go online in isolated areas of your home. Use your devices only in common areas where others can easily see the screen. Never take your devices to bed or into the bathroom.
3. You Must… Get Accountable
Secrecy is suicide.
Satan wants you to think that you can fight this battle on your own. He uses shame and fear to keep you isolated and alone. You may think that you are the only one struggling.
The fact is that over 50% of Christian men admit that they are addicted to porn! You must bring this to the light. Admit your powerlessness. Jesus didn’t carry his Cross alone (Matthew 5:28). Why do you think you can carry yours alone? Satan wants you to try. Try, and you will lose every time.
Seeking help and revealing your battle may be the most difficult thing you will ever do, but you will find hope. There are FIVE ways to practice accountability:
- First and foremost, be open with your confessor! The doctor can’t heal what you don’t reveal. Go to confession FREQUENTLY, not just once a year. Every time you fall, go to confession as soon as possible.
- Join a recovery group. Programs like Sexaholics Anonymous (sa.org) and Sex Addicts Anonymous (saa-recovery.org) are great places to start. Ask your Priest about similar groups in your area.
- Sign up for an online recovery program. Restoring God’s Foundation (courses.roadtopurity.com), Fortify (fortifyprogram.org), and Reclaim (reclaimsexualhealth.com) are excellent programs.
- Ask a trusted friend to be your accountability partner. Checking in daily to report on your temptations and behavior has proven to be extremely helpful. You can call on this person to pray for you in times of temptation or self-loathing.
- Install software on your devices that will send email reports of your online activity to someone who will hold you accountable. The mobile apps “Victory” and “Accountable2You” provide this service.
4. You Must… Pray
…A leper approached, did him homage, and said, “Lord, if you wish, you can make me clean.” He stretched out his hand, touched him, and said, “I will do it. Be made clean.” His leprosy was cleansed immediately.
–Matthew 8:2-3
Jesus desires to heal you. Have you actually asked Jesus to make you clean? Like the persistent widow of the parable (Luke 18:1-8), you must persevere in asking again and again for healing. Through prayer, you will discover some of the wounds at the root of your sexual sins.
You usually act out to escape unpleasant feelings.
These feelings are triggered by events that touch your unresolved emotional wounds from the past. Dealing with your wounds is critical to freedom from sexual sin. Prayer enables you to surrender your pain and ugliness to the Lord.
Please remember the following when you pray:
- The source and summit of all prayer is the Mass. Participation in the Mass and reception of Holy Communion on Sundays and weekdays will change your life. Keep in mind, however, that “anyone conscious of a grave sin must receive the sacrament of Reconciliation before coming to communion” (CCC 1385).
- Fixing your eyes on Jesus through Eucharistic adoration will empower you to avert your eyes from pornography and lustful glances.
- The Angelic Warfare Confraternity (angelicwarfare.org) provides a spiritual network for pursuing chastity through prayer. Members commit to praying 15 Hail Mary’s each day for chastity. Ask the Virgin Mary to pray for you in the battle for purity. Pray the rosary for this intention.
The following prayers were written by a former sex addict who is now an addiction counselor. The “lizard of lust” referenced in the Battle Prayer is an image used in The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis.
Surrender Prayer
Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I desire the desire to surrender my heart and my entire being to you, but I cannot do it. I fear abandonment and the loss of control of who I am. I ask that you take what little space I can open to you. Use it and invade my heart. Take it captive and protect me from all evil. I beg for your help in my complete surrender to you.
Battle Prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, I cannot fight this battle any more; I’m done. I hand you the dragon to slay. I hand you the lizard of lust to slay. I hand you the battle and walk away. It’s yours; I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. It’s not my battle any more.
5. You Must… Learn more
Sexual sins affect us not only spiritually, but psychologically and biologically. It is important to understand and address all of underlying issues—especially those that affect you. You can learn more about authentic chastity as well as the emotional and biological components of porn addiction at Road to Purity (roadtopurity.com) and Fight the New Drug (ftnd.org).
For a free powerful, Catholic approved, sexual integrity program visit:
Courses.roadtopurity.com
For many, professional counseling is often necessary for the recovery process. You can find a trustworthy therapist at catholictherapists.com.
Professional assistance, through a counselor or a recovery coach, is often a superior way to jumpstart the recovery process. You can find a trustworthy therapist at catholictherapists.com
Need help? Want to talk? Inspired to support this apostolate?
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Need help with pornography? If you or someone you know is battling the scourge of sexual sin, pornography or other, I invite you to try for free, our unique recovery program – Restoring God’s Foundation.
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